Life Day 23943: “We gotta Get Outta This Place”.

January 30, 2013 at 12:01 am | Posted in Today's Reasons To Celebrate | Leave a comment

Good morning members of the “rat race”. Today is Wednesday, January 30th, 2013. The first “holiday” today is National Escape Day. Did you ever want to just unshackle yourself from the bonds of responsibility and escape the mundane drudgery of your existence  Well this is the day to do so. If you are unable to physically leave your environment, there are still ways that you can ‘escape’. 1) Change the wallpaper on your computer at work to a tropical isle, a ski slope, a babbling brook, or any other destination to which you would like to escape. 2) After work, draw a nice hot bath, pour yourself a tall glass of wine, put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, and let your mind wander as you transform into a “happy prune”. 3) Escape into a good book. Read slowly and take time out to let the imagery soak into your brain. There are other ways to escape, but I don’t recommend them. They involve illegal substances, or excessive consumption of alcohol. Whatever means of escape you choose today, enjoy.
The other “holiday” is National Inane Answering Message Day. What is it about the infamous “leave-a-message-at-the-beep” prompt that makes us forget our name, develop a speech impediment, and take forever to convey our simple message? This phenomena is more prevalent in Troglodytes from my generation who grew up having to actually talk to a live person at the other end of the telephone line. That was easy. Why is conveying your message to a machine any  more intimidating? Is it the fact that you have to actually sum up your thoughts and express them coherently within 30 seconds? Who knows?  Am I the only one who has this problem?

The food related “holiday” is National Croissant Day. Who doesn’t enjoy a rich, buttery, crescent-shaped croissant? They are traditionally a breakfast bread served with jam and butter. In the early 1970’s, croissants evolved into sandwich form, though still primarily as breakfast sandwiches. Whichever way you prefer yours, enjoy one today.

On this date in 1798, the first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on the House floor. Personally, I would love to see a return to this practice. In fact, we could orchestrate matches between adversaries on the House floor, and show them on pay-per-view. It would be a good way to start reducing the national debt that these morons have run up during their tenure. I can see “cage matches”, no-holds-barred marches, last man standing submits his Bill to the President. IT WOULD BE GREAT.
Other significant events that happened on this date are:
In 1790, the first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River Tyne.
In 1844, Richard Theodore Greener became the first African American to graduate from Harvard University.
In 1847, the town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco.
In 1862, the U.S. Navy’s first ironclad warship, the “Monitor”, was launched.
In 1894, C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer.
In 1911, the first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer “Terry.” Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba.
In 1933, The Lone Ranger” was heard on radio for the first time. The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955.
In 1933, Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor.
In 1948, Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was murdered by a Hindu extremist.
In 1958, the first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the airport was 1,435 feet.
In 1962, two members of the “Flying Wallendas” high-wire act were killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a performance in Detroit, MI.
And, in 1968, the  Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals.

If you were born on this date, you share a birthday with the following luminaries:
Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1882.
John (actor) Ireland, 1914.
Dick (“Laugh-in”) Martin, 1922.
Barbara (Della Street) Hale, also in 1922.
Gene Hackman, 1931.
Vanessa (actress) Redgrave, 1937.
Dick Cheney, 1941.
Charles (actor) Dutton, 1951.
Brett (comedienne) Butler, 1958.
Jody (singer) Watley, 1959.
And finally, Christian (actor) Bale, 1974.

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