Life Day 24156: Lawyer Jokes.

August 31, 2013 at 12:01 am | Posted in Today's Reasons To Celebrate | Leave a comment

Today is Saturday, August 31, 2013.
Good morning lovers of jurisprudence. The first holiday today is Love Litigating Lawyers Day. Love Litigating Lawyers Day salutes those oft maligned members of the bar who act as our representatives in court. Lawyer jokes abound, and those lawyers who get national attention in the media usually do little to mitigate the stereotype of lawyers being soulless, smarmy, bottom-feeding scum bags.
With that said, should you (God forbid) ever need the services of a good litigator, these are the exact same type of people you would choose to represent you. Litigating lawyers, get a bad rap, but then, you don’t go to lawyers when you’re are having a good day. You seek them out when you need help, and/or guidance. The truth is that a vast majority of litigating lawyers work hard every day to right wrongs, make a difference, and help their clients. It’s just that the bad lawyers get all the press.
I’m at a loss for suggestions at to how you should celebrate this holiday, but, I guess, the least you could do is refrain from telling any ‘lawyer jokes’ today.

The other holiday today is Franchise Appreciation Day. The goal of Franchise Appreciation Day is to create awareness to increase customers knowledge of the importance of using social media networks and location-based services to connect with, and continue to support local franchises.
A franchise is a right granted to an individual or group to market a company’s goods or services within a certain territory or location. Some examples of today’s popular franchises are McDonald’s, Subway, and Domino’s Pizza.
A franchisee is an individual who purchases the rights to use a company’s trademarked name and business model to do business. The franchisee purchases a franchise from the franchisor. The franchisee then must follow certain rules and guidelines already established by the franchisor, and in most cases, the franchisee must pay an ongoing franchise royalty fee to the franchisor.
The number of franchise establishments in this country is over 800,000, and the number of jobs provided within and because of franchised businesses over 17 million. Franchised businesses account for nearly 50% of all retail sales in the United States, and the annual gross revenue derived from franchises is around 1.2 trillion dollars. Franchises annually pay out a bit over 300 billion dollars in salaries, wages, and benefits.
To celebrate this holiday, support as many local franchises as you can today.

The first food-related holiday today is Eat Outside Day. Eat Outside Day (aka dining al-fresco) encourages you to eat at least one meal outside today. Today is the last day of August, which makes this a very timely celebration. It’s the perfect opportunity to take your breakfast, lunch, or dinner into the great outdoors and enjoy the last few days of warm summer weather. Soon autumn weather will be upon us and the temperatures will begin to cool, making dining outside uncomfortable.
Al-fresco dining first became popular in the 18th century. Patrons who enjoyed eating their meals in the open air could visit tea gardens, seashore resorts, or rooftop restaurants. Eating outside was considered a tourist activity up until the early 1900’s. Around that time, the first sidewalk cafes appeared on the streets of Manhattan.
There are many ways that you can participate in this holiday. Eat at your favorite outdoor restaurant, enjoy a popsicle on your porch, organize a barbecue in your backyard, or have a picnic at a local park. Whatever you decide to do, just be sure to enjoy at least one of your meals outside today.

The other food-related holiday today is National Trail Mix Day. National Trail Mix Day celebrates Trail Mix: a high energy, tasty treat for the trail or snacks. You can buy packages of pre-made trail mix at a store, or you can make up your own, using the ingredients you like best.
Trail Mix is a mixture of salty, sweet, and crunchy, and somewhat healthy ingredients; such as cereal, nuts, pretzels, raisins, dried fruit, M&Ms, etc. There are about a bazillion different types of Trail Mix, if you include the homemade ones. If you prefer to make your own, it is best to avoid messy foods that will leave your hands sticky. It is also recommended that you avoid too many salty items as well. However, you are the arbiter of your homemade Trail Mix. Use the portable foods that you like best.
To celebrate this holiday, make/buy some Trail Mix, and go for a hike.

On this date in 1990 – U.N. Secretary-General Javier Perez de Cuellar met with the Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz to try and negotiate a solution to the crisis in the Persian Gulf.
Also on this date in history:
1852 – The first pre-stamped envelopes were created with legislation of the U.S. Congress.
1881 – The first tennis championships in the U.S. were played.
1887 – The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison. The device was used to produce moving pictures.
1920 – The first news program to be broadcast on radio was aired. The station was 8MK in Detroit, MI.
1935 – The act of exporting U.S. arms to belligerents was prohibited by an act signed by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
1950 – Gil Hodges of the Brooklyn Dodgers hit four home runs in a single game off of four different pitchers.
1959 – Sandy Koufax set a National League record by striking out 18 batters.
1962 – The Caribbean nations Tobago and Trinidad became independent within the British Commonwealth.
1964 – California officially became the most populated state in America.
1965 – The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) was created by the U.S. House of Representatives and the Senate.
1990 – East and West Germany signed a treaty that meant the harmonizing of political and legal systems.
1994 – A ceasefire was declared by the Irish Republican Army after 25 years of bloodshed in Northern Ireland.
1994 – Russia officially ended its military presence in the former East Germany and the Baltics after a half-century.
1998 – A ballistic missile was fired over Japan by North Korea. The missile landed in stages in the waters around Japan. There was no known target.
And, in 1998 – “Titanic” became the first movie in North America to earn more than $600 million.

If you were born on this date, you share a birthday with the following list of distinguished denizens.
Caligula 0012 – Roman Emperor.
Frederic March 1897 – Actor.
Arthur Godfrey 1903 – Broadcaster.
Daniel Schorr 1916 – Journalist.
Richard Basehart 1919 – Actor.
Buddy Hackett 1924 – Comedian.
James Coburn 1928 – Actor.
Frank Robinson 1935 – Baseball player.
Eldridge Cleaver 1935 – Political activist.
Itzhak Perlman 1945 – Violinist.
Van Morrison 1945 – Musician.
Richard Gere 1949 – Actor.
Edwin Moses 1958 – Olympic athlete.
Chris Whitley 1960 – Musician.
And finally, Debbie Gibson 1970 – Singer.

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