Wayward Hosiery

May 9, 2016 at 12:01 am | Posted in Today's Reasons To Celebrate | Leave a comment

Good morning mourners of lost laundry. Today is May 9th. The holidays today are:

Lost Sock Memorial Day

Lost Sock Memorial Day recognizes that drawer full of unmatched socks, the mates to which have disappeared into the vacuum of “laundry limbo”. Spend a little time today – as little as possible – searching for the mates of those unmatched socks…then throw them away. If the mate eventually shows up later, throw it in your unmatched sock drawer and save it for this holiday next year.
If you can’t bear the thought of throwing those mismatched socks away, here are a few alternatives.

You could create a new holiday such as “Wear Mismatched Socks Day” so that you could wear them at least once a year, without ridicule.

You could re-purpose them and turn them into some sort of freakish, mismatched, patchwork, Picasoesque sock monkey.

You could re-wash them and hope that they too, disappear into the nether regions of “laundry limbo”. [Be sure not to wash them only with other mismatched socks and NOT with any paired socks, lest you end up with even more mismatches].

If you are feeling really ambitious, you could organize a grassroots effort to create a ‘missing sock registry’. You could take photographs of your missing socks and have them printed on bottles of laundry detergent. Then if someone recognizes one of your socks, they could call the “missing sock Hotline” which you and your group also created, and reunite you with your wayward hosiery.

Or, like I said before, you could simply bid them good riddance and throw them away.

Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day

We’ve all seen them – those tags on mattresses and pillows that say something to the effect of: “Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law.” But, if you do remove that tag, do you really need to fear that the government will bust down your door in the middle of the night and haul you off to the gulag? The answer is NO!
Those warning tags were put there by the government to protect consumers, not punish them. The purpose of the tag is to assure consumers that they are buying a new, never-been-used product and to let them know exactly what’s inside it.
The need for these tags arose in the early 20th century. At the time, mattresses were often constructed with horse hair, corn husks, food waste, old rags, newspaper, and whatever else a manufacturer could procure cheaply and shove inside. Consumers would never see the stuffing, so no harm, no foul, right? Not really. Some of this stuff harbored bacteria and household pests and other not-so-pleasant stuff.
The government tackled the problem by requiring mattress manufacturers to affix tags to their products that clearly defined their contents…but without the “Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law” nomenclature. Consumers could then make informed decisions. But soon, the unscrupulous manufacturers and salesmen were simply removing the tags before they hit the showroom floor.
To combat this, the government countered with a new regulation. Tags now had to have the “do-not-remove” warning, and federal regulations made it unlawful to “remove or mutilate, or cause or participate in the removal or mutilation of, prior to the time any textile fiber product is sold and delivered to the ultimate consumer, any stamp, tag, label, or other identification required” on them. “Any person violating this section,” the regulation continues, “shall be guilty of an unfair method of competition, and an unfair or deceptive act or practice, under the Federal Trade Commission Act.” This action deterred dishonest mattress manufacturers and dealers, but also confused more than a few consumers, who dutifully left the tags on for fear of prosecution. In recent years, the feds and many state governments have eased the minds of law-abiding citizens by amending the mattress laws so the tags read “this tag shall not be removed except by the consumer.”
Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day lets you know that it is perfectly OK to remove those tags without repercussions once you have bought the mattress…if you want to bother. To celebrate this holiday, go through your house and remove the tags from all of your mattresses, pillows, throw pillows, sofa cushions…et al.


National Moscato Day

National Moscato Day celebrates the moscato grape; which is a white wine grape. Moscato is the Italian pronunciation for the Muscat grape. The moscato pronunciation is only used in Italy, and by a few pretentious “wine snobs”.
Moscato is also a type of wine made from these grapes originating from the Piedmont region of northwest Italy. It has become a popular choice due to its sweetness, lightness, and affordability.
Gallo Family Vineyards introduced Moscato Day to the United States in 2012.
Although I occasionally enjoy one glass of red wine with a ‘special occasion’ dinner, I’m not a big fan of white wine so I probably won’t be celebrating this holiday.

National Butterscotch Brownie Day

Brownies are classified as a bar cookie rather than a cake, because they are a finger food, like cookies; and cake is meant to be eaten with a fork. (Obviously, the author of that fact has never been to my house, where cake is often eaten with fingers).
National Butterscotch Brownie Day pays tribute to a specific kind of brownie. Butterscotch brownies, also known as “blondies,” are delicious baked goodies that date back to the 19th century. Recipes for these soft, chewy bars most likely evolved from Medieval gingerbread cake recipes. In fact, butterscotch brownies were around for almost a hundred years before chocolate brownies became popular.
To make butterscotch brownies, you need flour, baking powder, salt, butter, brown sugar, vanilla extract, eggs, and butterscotch. Popular add-in ingredients include walnuts, pecans, butterscotch pieces, chocolate chips, Nutella, banana, or cranberries. You can also choose to add a topping like chocolate Irish cream frosting or drizzled caramel.

On this date:

  • In 1429 – Joan of Arc defeated the besieging English at Orleans.
  • In 1671 – Thomas “Captain” Blood stole the crown jewels from the Tower of London.
  • In 1754 – The first newspaper cartoon in America showed a divided snake “Join or die” in “The Pennsylvania Gazette.”
  • In 1926 – Americans Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett became the first men to fly an airplane over the North Pole.
  • In 1940 – Vivien Leigh debuted in America on stage in “Romeo and Juliet” with Lawrence Olivier.
  • In 1941 – The German submarine U-110 was captured at sea by Britain’s Royal navy.
  • In 1958 – Richard Burton made his network television debut in the presentation of “Wuthering Heights” on CBS-TV.
  • In 1960 – The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved for sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time.
  • In 1961 – Jim Gentile (Baltimore Orioles) set a major league baseball record when he hit a grand slam home run in two consecutive innings. The game was against the Minnesota Twins.
  • In 1962 – A laser beam was successfully bounced off Moon for the first time.
  • In 1974 – The House Judiciary Committee began formal hearings on the Nixon impeachment.
  • In 1978 – The bullet-riddled body of former Italian Prime Minister Aldo Moro was found in an automobile in the center of Rome. The Red Brigades had abducted him.
  • In 1980 – A Liberian freighter hit the Sunshine Skyway Bridge over Tampa Bay in Florida. 35 motorists were killed and a 1,400-foot section of the bridge collapsed.
  • In 1994 – Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa’s first black president.
  • In 1996 – In video testimony to a courtroom in Little Rock, AR, President Clinton insisted that he had nothing to do with a $300,000 loan in the criminal case against his former Whitewater partners.
  • In 2002 – In Bethlehem, West Bank, a deal was reached that would end the 38-day standoff at the Church of the Nativity. Thirteen suspected militants were to be deported to several different countries. The standoff had begun on April 2, 2002.

Celebrity Birthdays:


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